Friday, May 9, 2008
I'm lying here on the floor where you left me...
So it's 4 AM and yet I find myself still no where near tired. I just finished yet another "trashy" romance novel, and it's left me wanting. Not for the man, or the promises of the amazing feelings that I am supposed to feel when I find myself in the adventure depicted before me, but for the adventure itself.
I'll be honest... do I want some guy to make me feel hungry and wanton for them?
Oh hell yeah!
I can't imagine putting any less than every thing in to someone and having those feelings returned. I want those butterflies, I want those secret smiles, and more than all I want to feel that wanted.To be desired even.
I'm finding myself growing more restless everyday. I wasn't meant for a life where I sit and ponder the "could Be's," or the "maybes." Its starting to make me feel sick and empty. I need something and I need it soon. Every day I find it harder to smile and be amiable. I feel physically sick every time I try to hide how much I'm stifling a flame that really needs to get out and burn. I need a thrill. Something new.
Most of all, I don't think I can wait much longer for something new, lest lose something that's keeping all of me intact.
I feel as if in any minute I could fall apart and leave a part of me exhausted and worn. Even becoming a person that would feel foreign in this time and body.
