Tuesday, October 21, 2008
It when it rains
Seems like everything these past couple of weeks has had a little black cloud hanging over it. Between being in the hospital last week to starting to file a harassment suit, I feel as if I'm trapped in this world where nothing ever stays up for long.
I'm very happy in my relationship with Chris, you can see it in the way I just mention his name. I've never had someone make me feel so singular. Like, I don't just blend in to a crowd. He likes to take me out. It seems as if he gets a kick out of showing me off. I like that feeling! I've only ever felt like guys were ashamed of their attraction to me before.
I'm not the best looking girl in the world, but damnit I look good! I'm not even saying for my size or for this area. I have a self-confidence that cannot be faked. It's earned. I've been tortured by many but I refuse to be held down. I'm tall; I have curves some girls would kill for. I love my blue eyes and I know my smile can be just as cheesy as it can be charming. I don't mean to sound like I'm full of myself, but sometimes its nice to remind myself how I really am.
But back to the point... Chris has made me feel even better than I could describe. I just want these girls to stop! I'm sick of phone calls, I'm sick of e-mails. I don't care what kind of "proof" you have. I'm happy and I'm not going to risk that feeling on someone trying to tear me down and apart.
I know that she and him once had a good thing. It had to have been good in some aspects; otherwise it wouldn't have progressed to marriage. But I also know that that part of his life went sour. She doesn't need to constantly try and find ways to come between us. It’s childish and not helping her case any. If anything it makes him want less and less to do with her. I can’t say I blame him.
